best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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