I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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