You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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