I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
