Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
