Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
