But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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