Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
