If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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