i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Someone came in the potted fern
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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