Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
