I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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