As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
