Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
