It's Friday. Sex?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
