Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
