nutella sex= disaster
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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