its not stalking. its research.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
