So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize