i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
