Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
