She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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