no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize