I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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