Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
