I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
