yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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