You just made me feel so damn special
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Enjoy the penises
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
