I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
