The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize