Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
