'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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