I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
