Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This girl is more easily done than said...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize