I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
