Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
