So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
