I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Shame is for Republicans.
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