omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Randomize
