I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
