Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
