Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
