one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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