Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
