I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
