WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
