I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize