I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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