she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
