Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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