didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
