i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
