I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
