All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
