I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize