i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
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