Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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