it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She told me I should be a condom model.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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