I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
