I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
