I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
