How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
