She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
