She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
