I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
