Plan B is the new Plan A
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
