Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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