i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
