He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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