she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
