3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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