i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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