and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
