Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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