Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Welp...herpes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize