What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
