Acid is not a monday night drug
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
