When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
