Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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