you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
