I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
