I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
